Dear GOP,
I feel like we need to get some things straight. Settle a few issues here. So the first thing
that bears mentioning is that women are equally as intelligent as men. This
means then when you talk, both women and men will be able to understand what
you meant by what you said. If you wish to correct something you said that you didn't mean, do like we were taught as children and apologize like you mean it.
OK, now that we've gotten that out of the way, let’s move
on. Can we please stop throwing around the word rape as if it’s just another
thing that happens? Rape is not a
natural occurrence, it is not something women should just have to accept they
will probably have to deal with, is not just another way to conceive a baby,
and it is not a punishment for dressing to promiscuously or for being too
drunk. Rape is a horrible event. The
word should make you cringe. The idea should make you shiver.
We would never imply a person deserved to get murdered. We
would never imply a person deserved to get assaulted or robbed. We would never
imply a person “was asking” for a crime to be committed against them. And we certainly would never imply that a
crime was in any way a gift from God. But we imply these things of rape. Why?
Why do we have, as Tiny Fey puts it “grey -faced [men] with
a two dollar haircut, explaining to [us] what rape is”? When is the last time
one of them was legitimately worried about getting raped? And if any of their
daughters were raped, would they still see it in this backwards way? My guess
is no. But I would also hypothesize that if those men do have daughters, none
of them would want to confide such a tragic event in their father.
1 out of every 6 women will be sexually assaulted in her
lifetime. I can think of 6 women that I care about without even trying and I
would not wish such an event on any of them, though it’s worth noting some of
the women I care about have probably already been sexually assaulted. And by
some I mean most likely MOST of the women I know have probably been sexually
assaulted. Why is this acceptable? Why is rape only being talked about in the
context of abortion?
Listen, I don’t love the idea of someone having an abortion
any more than you do. And we can argue
until the cows come home about the legality of abortion, this is a worthy
intellectual debate. Is a fetus a life or a cluster of cells? BUT when put in
the context rape, I will not be the person telling someone they must carry,
give birth to, and possibly raise the son of their rapist. I will not be the
person to tell someone that yes, they have to watch this baby that they gave
birth to slowly but surely look more and more like their father. When I child
begins to look more and more like one of their parents this should be a happy,
joyous event. For a mother to say to her child, “you look so much like your
father” should be a compliment because the mother loves/loved the father. But
to say to a child, “you are beginning to resemble my rapist”, that is not a
joyous event. I would not wish that on
anyone, nor would I implore them to go through it. If the mother chooses to
keep the baby, we should support her. But we cannot and should not require a
woman to carry for 9 months the reminder of what is likely one of, if not the,
worst event in her life.
More importantly though, your comments force us to realize
we need better sex education. How does a grown person not understand that
pregnancy cannot be prevented by the body?
How is it that a person has gone 50+ years without encountering a woman
who has been raped or assaulted? Surely, once you meet someone who has
experienced this you can begin to feel some compassion for her. You would begin to realize that there is no
distinction between “legitimate rape” and what I can only suppose would be
“illegitimate rape.”
Maybe instead of putting so much effort into proving that
pregnancy from rape is not such a bad thing, you should put all that effort
into preventing rape. Put that effort into raising boys (and girls) to respect
other people. I mean, if rape wasn't so
common maybe your ideas for what it is or what it means wouldn't be so
offensive.
You are telling the 200,000+ women that were sexually
assaulted in the last year that they failed. They messed up, and they deserved
this thing to happen to them. This kind of thinking, this kind of talking, this
will not help women. This will DISCOURAGE women from reporting sexual assaults
and rape to the police (which is already something tough to do). This will not
increase the number of rapists that go to jail; currently 97% of rapists never
spend a single day in jail. All the while their victims are living in fear of
this happening to them again. But now we are double shaming the survivors of
rape, we are telling them not only did they deserve this to happen to them, but
they better not have an abortion. I mean geez, how much harder could we
possibly make it?
Look, if you want to think you can control if someone takes
birth control, or has an abortion for other reasons, I will gladly discuss that
with you. But seriously, rape is a big
deal. It is not something to be thrown around as if it never happens. It is not
something to be talked about in theory. It is not something the woman did
wrong; it is something the RAPIST did wrong. And the woman should not be forced
to live with that forever.
A "not likely voter" voting against you.
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